Reality and Sanity

May 30, 2007

Writing Prompt Part II Update

Filed under: Hollywood vs. America, Idiot Box Rumenations — Paul @ 7:59 pm

I could have put in a simple update, but after reading Rachel Lucas’s post answering questions in her e-mail and comments, I felt this update needed its own separate post.

The Fourth Meme Request stated: Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie. Actor is what threw me; I’m old school, so if the word actress had been used, one name would have come to me instantly:

Rosie O’Donnell.

I can’t improve what Rachel had to say about Crazy Mabel:

CatScapeBarb asks: “Dear Rachel, So why don’t you tell us how you REALLY feel about Rosie O’Donnell? (sorry, almost couldn’t finish the question as I was concentrating on not throwing up at the sight of her name.)”

Dear CatScapeBarb,
Well if you must know, I hate that crazy bitch. When I see her face, I want to shoot my guns at watermelons. When I hear her voice, which is scientifically proven to be The Most Hideous Voice Ever, I wish I did not have functioning ears. She is the exemplar of all that is wrong in the world and is living proof that God, if He exists, has abandoned humanity. I think she is insane, stupid, and evil, and if I could train my dog Sunny to do ONE THING, it would be to spontaneously take a dump upon hearing the command “Rosie O’Donnell”.

It chagrins me to have to put up with her when I watch my copies of A League of Their Own and Sleepless in Seattle. I’m glad she left The View and has somewhat disappeared from sight, even though she provided the right-wing political blogs a near-endless supply of rich material.

Her own talk show became a car wreck when she advocated strict gun control one day, then showed up with a heat-packing bodyguard days later. She ran a magazine with a 133-year history into the ground within a year. (Which mag? Seen a McCall’s recently?) Crazy Mabel has the reverse Midas touch–everything she touches eventually turns to crap. Why she continues to get big, big offers to be in movies or on television defies any logical explanation.

There is no way I’d watch any movie with her in it made after 1993 (when Sleepless came out.) Bad enough I have to put up with her voice in my copy of 1999’s Tarzan (the Disney version.) Like Rachel said, she’s insane, stupid, and evil. Let me put it this way: I think the character she played in Riding the Bus with My Sister wasn’t much of a stretch. Yes, I know: that’s a vile insult to people with special needs.

Second place goes to Whoopi Goldberg. I would avoid her completely, but Gene Roddenberry ruined that notion by allowing her to pollute Star Trek: The Next Generation.

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