Reality and Sanity

June 7, 2007

A Woman That TMQ Hopes Never to Meet

Filed under: End Zone Theatrics — Paul @ 5:51 pm

Gregg Easterbrook, the writer of the column Tuesday Morning Quarterback, repeatedly stated that any woman that proves her ability to play in the NFL should be allowed to do so. But, “TMQ hopes never to meet that woman.”

Gregg, don’t visit Kettering, Ohio anytime soon, or I cannot answer for the consequences: Do NOT Mess With This Woman.

Just the facts:

She’s 5’9″ and 300 lbs.
She plays offensive line. For the varsity this year…she’s expected to start.
She owns the Ohio high school girls squat lifting record at 525 pounds.
Her older brother is an NFL center.

Anybody out there want to bet against her?

Maybe I should ask a more interesting question…any football-factory colleges recruiting her?


June 19, 2006

Roethlisberger Had No Motorcycle License at Time of Accident

Filed under: End Zone Theatrics — Paul @ 6:03 pm

Million-dollar athlete, no helmet, no license, ends up in a wreck.

Whaqt else do I need to say?

June 12, 2006

Ben Roethlisberger Injured in Motorcycle Crash

Filed under: End Zone Theatrics — Paul @ 7:17 pm

From ESPN:

PITTSBURGH — Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger, the youngest quarterback to lead a team to the Super Bowl championship, broke his jaw and nose in a motorcycle crash Monday in which he was not wearing a helmet.Roethlisberger was in serious but stable condition Monday afternoon, said Dr. Larry Jones, chief of trauma at Mercy Hospital.

The player's agent, Leigh Steinberg, described the injuries to The Associated Press and said he did not know if there was further damage.

"He was talking to me before he left for the operating room," Jones said before the operation. "He's coherent. He's making sense. He knows what happened. He knows where he is. From that standpoint, he's very stable."'s John Clayton has confirmed that Roethlisberger also suffered a 9-inch laceration to the back of his head, has lost or chipped a number of teeth and has minor injuries to his knees from hitting the pavement. A plastic surgeon has been called in.

I agree with Captain Ed… (emphasis mine):

We're keeping Big Ben in our prayers. We're hoping that the injuries prove a meddlesome irritant and not a career ender, as Ben had shown tremendous promise and poise during his first two seasons with the Steelers. Hopefully he can return quickly and start the season in uniform for the Steelers. Perhaps he will also listen to Ben Cowher and suit up appropriately for his motorcylce rides in the future as well.

…but I also have some sterm criticism. Here's the first line of the story again, with emphasis added:

Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger, the youngest quarterback to lead a team to the Super Bowl championship, broke his jaw and nose in a motorcycle crash Monday in which he was not wearing a helmet.

Normally, pro athletes on major sports teams–especially athletes that are as valuable as Roethlisberger to an organization–have clauses in their contracts that bar them from this kind of tomfoolery, to protect the team's millions of investment dollars; someone breaking such a clause could find themselves out millions.

Riding a motorcycle without a helmet is a foolish decision by itself. Riding such while you are a several million dollar athlete is far more foolish. And if the "barred from risky activity" clause exists, it could be costly financially to Roethlisberger.

Update: Dan Shanoff, who writes ESPN's The Daily Quickie, smacks Roethlisberger upside the…oh, never mind.

May 27, 2006

Craig ‘Ironhead’ Heyward: 1966-2006

Filed under: End Zone Theatrics — Paul @ 10:30 pm

A recurring tumor claims his life:

ATLANTA — Former NFL fullback Craig "Ironhead" Heyward, who played 11 seasons in the league with five different franchises, died here Saturday after a seven-year battle with a recurring brain tumor.Heyward, who retired from the league following the 1998 season, was 39.

Given the severity and aggressiveness of Heyward's tumor, known as a chordoma, and the inability of surgeons to completely remove it during two operations, his death was not unexpected. Heyward also suffered a stroke a few years ago that left him partially paralyzed.

I don't remember any plays he made, not to say he didn't make any plays. No one at any position lasts eleven years in the NFL without making plays:

In 149 games, Heyward registered 1,031 carries for 4,301 yards and 30 touchdowns. He also posted 177 receptions for 1,559 yards and four touchdowns. His finest season came with the Falcons in 1995, when he rushed for 1,083 yards and six touchdowns and earned his lone Pro Bowl berth.

Rather, I remember him for that all-world nickname.

I also fondly remember his Zest commercials in the 90s. I can't look at product with the 'Zest' brand name without saying in a falsetto voice, "Hey Ironhead, it says it's a body wash!" or a mesh washcloth: "Hey Ironhead, what's this thingy?" He made people laugh all the way to the end, confirmed by Bobby Hebert, one of his NFL teammates:

The one thing he's still got and that hasn't changed a bit is that devilish sense of humor of his.

University of Pittsburgh had coach Dave Wannstedt get the last quote:

I will always remember him as a tremendous player who had an irrepressible attitude on and off the field. We spoke just a few weeks ago and I was struck by the typical upbeat 'Ironhead' attitude he displayed despite his health. The thoughts and prayers of the entire Pitt family are with Craig's loved ones during this time of sorrow.

This is also a bit scary for me, since Heyward was younger than I am. Just shows that you can never count on having a long life; sometimes a life is cut way too short.

Update:'s Len Pasquarelli writes a fitting tribute: Ironhead was a nickname, Craig was the man.

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